tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35315218409481943312024-03-13T23:36:15.522+02:00Lizzy the LezzyStand Up Comedy videos by animated lesbian, Lizzy the LezzyLizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-64679696293413836012010-08-24T16:13:00.000+03:002014-01-01T14:49:02.339+02:00Get a yearly cervical smear / pap smear test!VERY IMPORTANT LADIES! make sure you go for regular pap smear tests! i know it's orrible sometimes, but it's gotta be done - spread the word!<br />
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<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ovqPBo1WFiE?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param>
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Official Site: <a href="http://www.lizzythelezzy.com/">http://www.lizzythelezzy.com</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z17UGsq-4wc">Stand up Comedy videos by LIZZY THE LEZZY</a>Lizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-55694798140077363552010-06-25T21:57:00.004+03:002014-01-01T15:05:48.799+02:00Cuz I'm a LESBIAN!<object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CBtIyuiEb5k&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param>
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Get Muff Muncher t-shirts here! <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/lizzythelezzy">http://www.cafepress.com/lizzythelezzy</a><br />
Lizzy and the Muff Munchers -- I'm a Lesbian! <a href="http://www.lizzythelezzy.com/">http://www.lizzythelezzy.com</a><br />
Created by Ruth Selwyn <br />
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Music by Yael Heim<br />
<a href="http://www.myspace.com/yaelheim">http://www.myspace.com/yaelheim</a><br />
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The Muff Muncher Band:<br />
Shakti "Shagme" Gorodetsky<br />
Natalie "Nat the Twat" Walker<br />
Hagit "I want a Harley" Shapira<br />
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Also starring:<br />
Hadas B <a href="http://twitter.com/hadasb">http://twitter.com/hadasb</a> as a big dyke<br />
Jill Abrams <a href="http://www.youtube.com/JillAbrams">http://www.youtube.com/JillAbrams</a><br />
Libby Tishler, Tami Bibring, Dana Ziv, Lior Elefant, Noa Barak, Yael B and the other dykes in the pub!<br />
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You can get it as a ringtone at http://www.myxer.com/lizzythelezzy but you have to sign in to get it as all my ringtones are labeled "explicit" - stupid!<br />
The lyrics - Sing along lezbos!<br />
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Lesbiaaan. I'm a lesbiaaaan.<br />
Lesbiaaan. I'm a lesbiaaaan!<br />
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L E S B I A N<br />
I stand out in a crowd, I am a one in ten<br />
L E S B I A N<br />
Say it out aloud say it again and again<br />
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Well I am a lesbian and this is my thing<br />
I'm not looking for a man or a wedding ring<br />
Yeah it's women that I like coz I am a big dyke<br />
I am as queer as queer can be and I drive a motorbike<br />
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Coz I'm a lesbian<br />
Yeah you know what I mean<br />
I'm a lesbian<br />
I love the vagine<br />
Coz I'm a lesbian<br />
Yeah you know what I mean<br />
I'm a lesbian<br />
It's a daily routine<br />
<br />
Well the lesbians I know are pretty cool<br />
They wear their pants really low and it makes me drool<br />
They wear comfortable shoes and they walk a certain way<br />
They have a look in their eyes that says "I'm totally gay!"<br />
Coz I'm a lesbian...<br />
<br />
L E S B I A N<br />
<br />
I stand out in a crowd, I am a one in ten<br />
L E S B I A N (Coz I'm a lesbian)<br />
Say it out aloud say it again and again<br />
Coz I'm a lesbian<br />
Lesbian!<br />
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Oh baby, you mean so much to me<br />
I love the way you smother me<br />
I know we only met 2 weeks ago but,<br />
Do you wanna move in with me?<br />
<br />
Coz I'm a lesbian<br />
Yeah you know what I mean<br />
I'm a lesbian<br />
I can keep a girl keen<br />
Coz I'm a lesbian<br />
Yeah you know what I mean<br />
I'm a lesbian<br />
A munching machine!<br />
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Yeah being a lesbian is really the best<br />
We like to work out for hours and strengthen our chest<br />
We can party all night and we drink quite a lot<br />
And one thing is for sure the sex is steamy and hot!<br />
Yeah!<br />
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Chorus.<br />
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Lesbian! <br />
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More of Lizzy's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z17UGsq-4wc">stand up</a> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z17UGsq-4wc">comedy</a> on youtube.Lizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-82893266625185902772010-06-03T08:41:00.001+03:002014-01-01T15:36:53.995+02:00Lizzy the Lezzy on the Sundance Channel!I've made 5 new Lizzy episodes (and one with Gary the Gay, yay!) for The Sundance Channel - if you live in the US check your TV listings, they will be running them for Gay Pride Month this month! Or you can just watch them all right here! Enjoy muff munchers! <br />
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"Breasts"<br />
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"Lesbian Break-Ups"<br />
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"Love is..."<br />
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"Doctors & Nurses"<br />
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"Universal Love"<br />
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More of Lizzy's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z17UGsq-4wc">stand up</a> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z17UGsq-4wc">comedy</a> on youtube.Lizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-66675482326245209522010-03-12T13:51:00.005+02:002014-01-01T15:37:06.668+02:00LET CONSTANCE MCMILLEN TAKE HER GIRLFRIEND TO THE PROM!Please spread the word! Itawamba Agricultural High School should LET CONSTANCE MCMILLEN TAKE HER GIRLFRIEND TO THE PROM!<br />
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The lesbians are behind you Constance!<br />
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<a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Let-Constance-Take-Her-Girlfriend-to-Prom/357686784817?ref=ts">Join Constance McMillen on facebook!</a><br />
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Constance McMillen is an 18 year-old senior at Itawamba Agricultural High School, and she wanted to attend prom with her girlfriend, also an IAHS student. After meeting with school officials, she was told that she and her girlfriend would not be allowed to attend together.<br />
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Constance then contacted the ACLU, and they sent the school a letter demanding that the school respect her constitutional right to bring a female student as her prom date and to be able to wear a tux. The school board decided that there was no way they could hold a prom and not allow Constance and her girlfriend to attend, so they canceled it!<br />
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The ACLU have filed a complaint in federal court, asking the court to reinstate the prom for all students at the school and charging Itawamba County School District officials with violating Constance McMillens First Amendment right to freedom of expression.<br />
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Watch more Lizzy's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z17UGsq-4wc">stand up</a> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z17UGsq-4wc">comedy</a>!Lizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-81408282184803923302010-02-04T10:19:00.002+02:002010-06-17T10:04:32.653+03:00Vajazzling – How to vajazzle your vajayjay like Jennifer Love Hewitt!There's a new vagina fashion in town and it's called "Vajazzling"! Read my post <a href="http://funnynotslutty.com/?p=482">all about vajazzling and how to vajazzle your vag</a> on <a href="http://funnynotslutty.com">funnynotslutty.com</a><br />
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And if you don't know what vajazzling is yet, or how to vajazzle your vag, here is a video explaining it!<br />
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Happy vajazzling everyone!Lizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-3583230799821344782010-01-16T17:32:00.004+02:002014-01-01T15:37:37.909+02:00New Year's Resolutions!Well, it's better late than never isn't it? <br />
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I just noticed there are 4 comments on my last blog post - wow - thanks! I never intended to "be a blogger" or even send people here - I felt like I had enough sites already, what with the <a href="https://twitter.com/LizzytheLezzy">twatter</a>, and <a href="http://www.myspace.com/ruthselwyn">myspace</a>, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/lizzythelezzy">youtube</a>, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/LizzyTheLezzy">facebook</a> and the <a href="http://www.lizzythelezzy.com/">Lizzy the Lezzy website</a>. But if you're gonna stop by anyway then the least I can do is try and post something every now and then! Perhaps that can be my new year's resolution, it would be nice to keep a proper journal of my journey to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dWoC79pkmGI">lesbian world domination</a>. <br />
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The truth is I'm scared to commit. Not to a relationship, silly, to this blog. I mean, what if this is my last post? What if I never feel like posting a blog again? Well, there will always be videos to post I suppose!<br />
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Times <i>are </i>changing, in some places, and hopefully the rest of the world will follow. Maybe we can't expect these changes to take place overnight, but look at where we are now compared to 20 years ago, when I was still struggling with my own sexuality. Today I am grateful for what gays and lesbians have achieved in my lifetime -- for Ellen, for the L Word, for all the lesbian story-lines on popular mainstream TV shows, like Weeds, Nip Tuck, and Grey's Anatomy, for films like Harvey Milk and Brokeback Mountain, for Adam Lambert, for George Michael - I still LOVE George Michael! And I love <a href="http://twitter.com/stephenfry">@stephenfry</a> and his wife <a href="http://twitter.com/MrsStephenFry">@MrsStephenFry</a>. I'm glad I've witnessed this progress in my lifetime. Maybe in the next 20 years America will have an openly gay or lesbian President!Lizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-76177563944010299972009-09-08T13:54:00.004+03:002014-01-01T14:51:11.903+02:00Lizzy's Dirty Little Lesbian Book!I've written a funny, dirty little <a href="http://www.lizzythelezzy.com/lizzys-lesbian-book.html">lesbian book </a>called "Lizzy the Lezzy Gets Laid!" It's written in Lizzy rhyme with full color pictures of Lizzy on her exciting lesbian adventures. <br />
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This video is Part 1 (of 3) of the book launch that was held in Tel Aviv last Saturday, with Ruth reciting some poetry and Lizzy singing songs that were specially written to go with the book. This episode has Lizzy singing a song for the teacher that she had a crush on at school. More info about the book on <a href="http://www.lizzythelezzy.com/">http://www.lizzythelezzy.com </a><br />
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p.s. dear lezzymom, since you are the only follower of this blog, i just wanted to say hi! xxLizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-49631908755556424822009-05-18T13:16:00.001+03:002014-01-01T15:38:22.127+02:00IDAHO 2009: One Voice, One Message, Heard Around the World.Rate it. Fave it. Comment on it!<br />
Put it on your blog and tell all your friends about it!<br />
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This video was a joint effort by the Committee for the International Day Against Homophobia & Transphobia, and <a href="http://gays.com/">http://gays.com</a><br />
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Look out for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/lizzythelezzy">Lizzy the Lezzy </a>in the video!<br />
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<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/m2Rp8ep_ezE&hl=en&fs=1"></param>
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When a straight girl meets a lesbian, she immediately tries to flirt with her, she wants to know that if she were to sleep with a woman, that this lesbian wants to sleep with her. What she forgets, is that lesbians don't think through their dicks, or feel a need to prove that they can satisfy a straight girl, or turn her lesbo, so most have already crushed the possibility of sleeping with her as soon as they find out she's straight. But it doesn't stop us from fantasizing.Lizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-32838182055211159742009-03-21T10:54:00.013+02:002014-01-01T15:38:58.447+02:00Goodbye L Word!<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QbS7DSX-Fck&hl=en&fs=1"></param>
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So, the L Word has finally come to a dramatic <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z17UGsq-4wc">lesbian</a> end and we'll never know what happened to psycho Jenny or if Max's waters broke all over Helena's new Persian rug. I managed to watch it just in time, before it was removed from Youtube. And I <i>loved </i>watching Portia on Ellen's show, it really warmed the cockles of my little heart. <br />
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So what's next for the lesbians then? I heard something about a funny farm, should be good. And I heard something about a film called "Lesbian Vampire Killers" - ooh, can't wait to see that one, I don't think. But I'm sure watch it anyway, even though the two main characters are guys and it's had <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7954681.stm" target="_blank">shit reviews</a>. <br />
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Because we'll watch anything and everything lesbian, or lesbian themed. Good or bad. Because with every fresh lesbian kiss on TV, a lesbian angel gets her wings, and millions of lesbians all over the world go, "Ahhhhhhhhhhh". Well, a bit more than "Ahhh" actually, right girls? ;) <br />
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Goodbye L Word. I'll miss your kisses. <br />
xxxLizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-73026624352199997922009-02-14T08:52:00.019+02:002009-02-18T15:44:44.868+02:00Happy Bloody Valentine's Day!I can't believe it. I spent the whole week planning a romantic Valentine's Day for me and my new girlfriend, with lots of fun activities all leading to sex, and I've woken up with my period and stomach cramps! <br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I know it's not all about my own personal sexual gratification, but who has the energy to perform properly, when all you really want to do is lie under a blanket with a hot water bottle, and watch crappy saturday telly? <br /><br />I don't feel like getting all dressed up in my bondage suit, I don't feel like eating sushi off my girlfriend's bottom, I don't feel sexy at all. I've got a painful zit on my chin, I've already cried 5 times and I feel an obsessive compultion to clean the house. Valentine's Day was not meant to be like this. I'm supposed to feel like rose petals and pink blancmange, and instead I feel like a cactus and cold rice pudding. <br /><br />Well, darling. Here's the video I made for you anyway, perhaps we can do it all again in about 5 days time? What? You'll have your period then? <br /><br />Perhaps that's where "lesbian bed death" comes from. Sex time during the month is already halved by periods, then add another week of two sets of sore tits and extreme mood swings, that leaves one week of each month to be in sync with each other - one night being too tired, one night with a headache, one night not to be in the mood, one night being depressed, one night there's a good film on and one night "I just feel like cuddling tonight, is that OK?". That leaves 1 day of the month which is actually doable and convenient for both of you. And that's surely the time you're bound to have an argument about not having enough sex!<br /><br />Happy Valentine's Day everyone - I hope you get yours! <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kQu6ZtRnVmc&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kQu6ZtRnVmc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />p.s. You can send this video to your loved one as a Lizzy E-card at <a href="http://www.lizzythelezzy.com/cards" target="_blank">http://www.lizzythelezzy.com/cards</a>Lizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-24465923842332642912009-01-14T21:49:00.003+02:002014-01-01T15:39:13.177+02:00Gay Siblings! Stand up and be counted!Well, I just uploaded a new video about gay siblings and already had many comments from people who are gay/lesbian and have gay/lesbian siblings! here's the video, but worth going over to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCpHKIGwRIY" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCpHKIGwRIY</a> and having a read of the comments. there are LOADS of 'em! <br />
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have a gay day! :)Lizzyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01087793601969772855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3531521840948194331.post-90807023208875265752008-12-24T12:34:00.027+02:002014-01-01T15:41:42.064+02:00Merry Muffmunch!<span style="color: #cc0000;">I'M LIZZY THE LEZZY AND CHRISTMAS IS HERE<br />I'M LIZZY THE LEZZY SO LET'S SHOUT AND CHEER!<br />I'M LIZZY THE LEZZY I PULLED DOWN MY SLACKS<br />I'M LIZZY THE LEZZY AND WENT FOR A WAX!</span><br />
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Hello. I finally did it. I finally went to get my muff seen to, just in time for Christmas (in case I get lucky). I booked an appointment with Olga, the beautician, and arrived 5 minutes early. I pondered over the half naked picture of Claudia Schiffer that hangs on the clinic wall, wondering whether I'll be as hot as she is after receiving "the Olga treatment".<br />
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I'd go every week if it wasn't so painful. "It's been a long time Lizzy, how are you?" said Olga. I took off my jeans and trainers, and hopped on the bed. "Oh my!" she exclaimed in horror. "Is that a bird's nest down there?" I smiled meekly. If it had grown any longer I might have tripped on it.<br />
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So I'm lying on my back with my legs wide open, biting my lip as Olga spreads the burning wax on my legs. She talks to me all the time, i think it's to take my mind off the pain, but i couldn't tell you what she talks about because all I'm thinking is "Ouch! Shiiit... Ouch soon she's gonna ouch reach my bikini ouch line, ouch!"<br />
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She ties a knot around my knickers to uncover the well-hidden bikini line. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH!! Shit, that hurt. She shines the light on my private parts to get a closer look at her artistry, it's so awkward. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH!! I start blowing downwards in a pointless attempt to cool things down, but she just carries on as if spreading boiling hot wax on your labia is as mundane as buttering bread.<br />
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Finally it was over and I could breathe again. "Would you like me to do inside your buttcrack as well?" Olga asked hopefully.<br />
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"Not flippin likely!" I hastily replied. "But if any birds start nesting in there I'll be sure to let you know!"<br />
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